Happy Cuatro de Mayo...but NOT Mother’s Day

By...Erik Schuman

Sometimes the calendar smiles upon us. Sometimes it does not. This time it is both.

Today is May 4. For Star Wars fans this is one of the greatest days of the year. Today you will hear them all saying, “May the Fourth Be With You” which is a take-off on “May the Force Be With You.” It sounds amusing and it might be. The first few times you hear it. The next 450-Billion times you hear it the humor wears off.

Today is also “Cuatro de Mayo.”

Living in California we have it ingrained in us from a very early age how important “CINCO de Mayo” is. Cinco de Mayo is an annual celebration held on May 5. The date is observed to commemorate the Mexican Army’s victory over the French Empire at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza.

Contrary to popular belief it is not a day to be celebrated getting hammered on Corona Beer (which, from what I have been told, is nasty and something not even Hispanics drink...I don’t drink beer so I can’t comment on how good this beer is or is not) while eating Tacos, Burritos, Enchiladas or any other kind of Mexican food at some sleazy bar while with friends. Even if it were, right now doing that at a bar or dining place would not be allowed in most states.

For the last 30-ish years it is the day BEFORE May 5 that holds a special meaning in my immediate family.

The final stop for my sister Kathy’s trio of higher education visits was San Diego State. It takes at least four years to get a degree from that school because one of the requirements is putting the school’s letters in the correct order. Most spell it, “SUDS” since drinking beer is what they do best. When they finally get it right and spell it, “SDSU” they are given a degree. Those who do it right the first-time graduate Summa Cum Laude. Magna Cum Laude is earned for getting it right the second time and a normal degree if it takes longer than that (Most graduate with a normal degree). This clip helps put in proper perspective what an “education” at SDSU is like:

So, one May 4 when sis is “studying” at that school, she and my cousin Ken (who also attended that school) got hammered. Admittedly that doesn’t take much for her (Unlike my cousin Heidi who, back in her day, could consume the entire keg and not show any signs on impairment). A glass of wine is enough to cause Kathy to go giggly. And that she was. As her roommate (and still family friend) thankfully told us, on this day Kathy was a wee bit tipsy while going through the dorm halls while drunk. Melissa asked her why she was doing all this and Kathy’s reply was, “Duh, it’s Cuatro de Mayo.”

Ever since hearing this I have made it a point to call my sister on May 4 and wish her a happy “Cuatro de Mayo.” Last year I had just gotten out of the hospital after my third chemo treatment but still made the call. That is what big brothers do. It has now gotten to the point of she expects the call and is upset if I were to miss it. I don’t and won’t.

Happy “Cuatro de Mayo” Sis and Cuz Ken! I know the two words you are saying right now to express your thoughts have the last word being “You” and the first word ending in a “K” and I am sure it is: Thank You! Right?!

Now the calendar does not smile upon me because Sunday is Mother’s Day meaning I have to address that now – not after the fact.

For the record: I HATE Mother’s Day (And I have been called a “Mother” too many times to count – in addition to another word added to the end of it). And Father’s Day. Memorial Day. Flag Day. Labor Day. Veterans Day. And Valentine’s Day.

I hate the thought of setting aside one day out of the year to celebrate all of the above. It makes no sense.

All should be honored 365/366 days of the year. Not ONE!

If not for our parents, we are not here. We need to thank them every day. Especially since not all of us have both parents still with us (I still do and in the May 18 entry that will be addressed). Or even one. There is nothing wrong with telling your parents every day how much you love them. This also helps because sucking up to them is never a bad thing when it comes time for them to write their Will. The more sucking up you do might mean more of an inheritance and that is never a bad thing (I have seven other siblings, spouses-in-law and nephew/nieces so I make sure the biggest part of my body gets brown as much as I can).

Memorial and Veterans Day honor the incredibly brave men and women who fight or fought for our Country. Memorial Day honors those who died while Veterans honors them all. There is nothing wrong with thanking a soldier or even (secretly) paying for their meal at a restaurant any day and not just these special two. Before the Coronavirus situation happened, I would always shake the hand of someone I saw dressed in uniform as well as thank them for all they did, and will do. In my city there are signs attached to light poles honoring those who served in the Armed Forces as well as those who gave up their life to defends out freedom. One of those is Jordan Stanton who was struck down in Afghanistan on March 4, 2011, one month shy of celebrating the birthday that would have made him legally old enough to gamble and drink alcohol. He is the nephew of friends Glenn Stanton and Jennifer Reynolds. Honoring him and others like him anything less than every day of the year until the end of time is disgraceful (Get some Kleenex ready when watching this video. You will need it).

The Constitution actually gives citizens the right to burn the American Flag. While I think it is repugnant for someone to do this and I would never even consider it I am OK with this right. But seeing this clip of Rick Monday never gets old and is awesome to see. I do not condone it, but I do not think those who do should be banned from the United States of America and have their citizenship revoked. I hate arbitrarily taking away someone’s right to do something because we oppose it because if this happens it is not long before the right to do something we like is also taken away.

Labor Day is great because honoring women who have gone into “Labor” is a very worthy cause. Protecting the rights of workers is also something that needs to be honored every single day and not just one especially with our politicians doing their best to repeal and replace negotiated rights in favor of lesser ones...all done while they continue to maintain the best pension and healthcare system ever!

Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a made up “Holiday” so that guys will be OK spending three times more for long-stem roses than they would any other time of the year just to show their significant other how much they love them. Maybe add in some overpriced chocolate, fancy lingerie and a nice meal and you can see why so many industries love this day.

Ever notice that Valentine’s Day happens not long after the Super Bowl? So now guys who basically ignored their wife or girlfriend (Or in many cases – both) now have a few days to get back in her good graces after ignoring her since Labor Day because they were watching football. Usually guys have about 7-10 days to think of ideas but soon it will be a few days once the NFL goes to 17 games pushing the Super Bowl to the second Sunday in February. If guys aren’t expressing their love to their significant other every single day, one day of attention won’t overcome 360+ days of neglect.

So this Sunday when we show our mother, or the mother of any children we may have with her, how much we love her, don’t think you have to confine that to just one day or when you want to have sex with her. There is nothing wrong with every remaining day on the calendar. And that goes for every other special day we have.